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I couldn’t take my eyes off her, as if my eyes were pleading in supplication and saying: “that’s it,
                    enough “. I felt excruciating heartache in every beat, waltz continued sounding.  The whole hall was
                    serenely hearkening her, only I was fighting with my remembrance of the past and strange emotions
                    visualizing them wearing a sour face. Nazokat was performing the music I composed earlier when my
                    life perished as a result of the car wreck. It caused unbearable blight and sheer misery in my life,
                    whenever I played, and my heart thudded. Maybe for this reason, I thoroughly performed it only three
                    times, afterwards, disregarded: it collected dust in the folder throughout the several years.
                             Waltz was over, I went to the backstage where Nazokat was observing the performance of the
                    next participant.
                    -Here is your stuff – she said handing the musical score to me.
                    -Why did you do that? –I asked crumpling it. Nazokat lent an ear to the rhapsody of Liszt for some
                    time and replied:
                    -Wonderfully written, it was my heart’s desire…
                    I walked back taking it under my armpit. All contestants brought an end to the performances and it
                    was  the  time  to  announce  the  final  decision  by  juries.  After  long  discussion,  the  panel  of  judges
                    found that the tall boy who played the work of Schumann perfectly as a prizewinner. Nazokat took
                    second place, her parents and friend congratulated.
                     After the end of the competition, the organizers asked my appraisal and sentiment. I made an exit

                    after exchanging our ideas for little time. Seeing my leave, Nazokat ran towards me:
                    -Are you bothered? – She said standing in front of me.
                    -Should  I  be  blissful?  –  I  answered  trying  not  to  look  at  her  –Firstly,  you  opened  old  wounds.
                    Secondly,  you  would  have  vanquished  if  you  had  played  the  sonata  of  Beethoven  which  you  got
                    prepared.
                    -I told you that – she sighed deeply – I’m weary of such steadiness. Until when only Beethoven’s or
                    Chopin’s music will be played? You had also composed propitiously.
                                 Not wanting to continue the conversation I went out. The wind was blowing outside: the
                    yellowish leaves were swirling in the sky, and falling on the ground changing their position.
                    -The collision was misfortune–she said following me around. – The accident wasn’t your fault. Don’t
                    blame yourself for your wife’s death.Even you didn’t turn 30, but buried yourself alive. I opened the
                    file on your table, which has fabulous sonatas and waltzes, honestly.
                    -I was gripping steering wheel – I yelled at her – Got it? My hands were on the wheel keeping that

                    damn « Waltz of the rain » in my mind. I got befuddled thinking it on the way.
                              Nazokat wept and wanted to come close up, yet I halted her with my hand.
                    - It's crisp and gusty. Don't stay in this wind. Behold, your parents came out following on you and
                    your boon companion. Share in your attainment with them. Go!
                       Nazokat didn't budge, I stepped forward and walked away. Approaching bus stop, I couldn't bear
                    waiting  for  the  bus  and  flagged  down  a  taxi.  The  taxi  picked  me  up  there  where  I  faced  with  my
                    yesteryear right away. Not needing to go home, I went for a stroll in the Square. There was a flock of
                    pigeons, I passed my time in the midst of them. At length, I decided to come back my workplace. I
                    didn't have lessons as it was off day. Just wanted to hide myself in my office and play the piano.
                     Climbing up the stairs, I was startled seeing Nazokat at the door.
                    - Would you always appear like this? – I told leaning on the wall.
                    - For evermore…
                    Translated from Uzbek into English by Nigora
                    Dedamirzayeva.She  was  born  in  1998  in

                    Namangan,  one  of  the  cities  of  Uzbekistan.

                    Currently, she is studying at Namangan State

                    University, the faculty of world languages.




                                                                             Sherzod Artikov, Uzbekistan



                   Litterateur                                                                                            63

                         REDEFINING WORLD
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